Thank - full

I have been overwhelmed for the last few days thinking what a miracle my baby is ... For those of you who don't know it, we went through a really rough time with her after she was born, because she had grade III intra-ventricular haemorrhage. It most often happens in preemies but can also happen as a result of long or traumatic birth. I have often blamed myself and the doctors for letting me be in labor for 28 hours after my water broke, it was hard on me, it must have been so hard on her! After we found out that she has had bleeding in her brain ventricles we were floored, as well as her doctors, and scared of what it might mean. I remember being extremely upset, my hormones were still raging post-partum, I was so scared for my baby, hurt from watching her having to undergo all those invasive tests, feeling like such a bad testimony because I couldn't stop crying ... And then, when they took her in for a CAT scan, Brent went with her, and I remember just collapsing onto my knees on the floor of the little cold waiting room and just screaming on the inside to God, "PLEASE, PLEASE, DON'T TAKE MY BABY! PLEASE LET HER BE OK!" , and at that moment I suddenly felt relieved, not completely at peace, but calmer and much stronger, and when God gave me the assurance that Anastasia was going to be fine, more then just ok, that she was going to be perfect. I just knew it in my heart. All the complications that could have happened with her extensive bleeding (hydrocephalus. cerebral palsy, other kinds of traumatic brain injury, so many things that just make my stomach churn) never happened. They even referred us to a developmental specialist to monitor her progress but they ended up never having to come because Anastasia not only hit her milestones, she is way ahead of the average on most of them. She started walking at 9 months, she is bilingual, she is so intelligent and strong that sometimes I forget how different things could have been for her. I work with special needs people, and seeing the challenges that they are faced with every day has made me acutely aware of the fact that she could have been on the receiving end of these services. I am humbled and so thankful to God for healing our little girl and for the amazing joy that she brings to our lives every day!