Ok, where do I start ...
First of all, I did not sell some stuff that my daughter no longer uses on Craigslist to help pay a medical bill, only to not go and spend part of the money on a cute new baby outfit at Target. This is not that outfit.
I certainly did not eat two chocolate chip cookies while looking at pictures of my skinny self from two years and 20 pounds ago, because I always feel good about myself and would never do that sort of thing.
The endorphins that my body produced as a response to the chocolate did not make me feel better at all.
Oh, of course, I did not mumble "Gosh, maybe formula isn't all that bad" while pumping for the umpteenth time today. I couldn't have done it because I totally look forward to those suction cups attached to my body and don't make a list of things I could be doing instead in my head.
And finally, I did not taste the rice cereal that I have been feeding my daughter for the last three days and find it not as disgusting as I thought. I did not later proceed to eat up what she didn't finish off. That would be especially disgusting since it was rice cereal mixed with my own breast milk. I did not tell my husband about it just to gross him out, either.
Oh, and just one more ... I did not think "Oh, that's kind of a good idea" when I heard that somebody hid their dirty dishes in the oven to keep visitors from seeing them. Because I have never put my dishes into a plastic bin in the bedroom as a way to quickly clean up on a short notice.
It'll be interesting to read about what has not been happening with everyone else ...
oh my gosh...that is totally disgusting that you ate the left over rice cereal whether it had your own (or anybody's) breast milk in it or not. The breast milk is a whole other story all on its own. Did make me laugh, though. I think motherhood makes people do some strange things :)
ReplyDeleteOh, I have never done some of those things, either! : ) I have never hidden random "stuff" in the trunk of my car when unexpected company showed up, or placed piles of papers into plastic bins just to "clean" the house! : )
ReplyDeleteI like the dishes comment! The first time I went to my husbands apartment (fiance then) I decided to cook something and all his dishes were dirty and hidden under the sink. Yuck. Of course it happened to be a little trick I've now used myself once or twice. :)
ReplyDeleteI know, girls, it is funny how we all know it's yuck and should never happen, yet, when desperate, we find these tricks really handy ;)) It is nice to know I am not the only one!
ReplyDeleteOh Maria, you are a trip! I loved your Not Me today!:)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Amy, I loved writing it ;)) BTW, I enjoyed yours, too.
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